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This is unhinged. When I was a kid (I'm only in my early 30s), birthday parties were like...a sleepover and some pizza and cake. I absolutely agree with another commenter that this is more about flexing for social media and/or making money than it is about spoiling your kids. And unfortunately, the fact that this kind of thing goes viral and is seen by so many as "aspirational" means that NORMAL parents (especially moms) are suddenly feeling guilty that their kids' birthday parties don't look like something off a movie set. People really need to understand and internalize the fact that you can't out-consume an influencer and you shouldn't even try. These parents are getting paid, or getting affiliate money, for all the things they're showcasing from their kids' "birthday party" (*cough tax write-off cough*).

Thank you so much for this video. I really really needed it.

My family was poor lol. Magic was getting ice cream once in a while at ben and Jerry’s. I had toys and I made my own magic

ngl this sounds like a rich white person problem, my friend is basically raising their little sister while her mom fucks off and does nothing and they can barely get enough money for groceries and rent every month.

As a kid I never even got the big birthday party where you invite all your classmates. I only went to one or two friends’ birthday parties but part of that is because I often ended up with a 24 hr bug at the wrong time. When I was a toddler my brother and I once had a joint birthday party but that was mostly relatives and a couple of neighbors. Other than that most of our birthdays were spent just with my parents and until a certain point, our grandparents on my mom’s side (one of my worst birthdays is when they were supposed to come up and ended up in a multi-car pileup (my bday is New Year’s Eve). I did have a sleepover with five friends for my Sweet 16. it was pretty simple but was one of my favorites. As an adult I’ve gone with my mom a friend , paid for the birthday packages (to get the goodie bags), and had an “unbirthday” at American Girl Place, as we’re doll collectors. Due to my birthday being in winter and living in New England, it can be hard to travel anywhere more than local when celebrating my birthday. So celebrating an unbirthday can be just as fun and allows me to still get the perk that I might miss out on around my birthday. Plus again, with the AG birthday packages, you have to pay extra.

I’m not a mom and I’m 27 so asking cus I really don’t know. Do your kids ask for balloon arches and tooth fairy gifts? Ex. Are they showing you other kids getting those things then asking for it?

Millennial Moms, release yourself from the shackles of perfection! I know you’re tired Gen Z won’t judge you for party city birthday parties.

I live in a low income area, and most kids here don't have all this. But, I see this in my sister in laws life who lives in a high income area. Personally, I do large birthday parties but they aren't perfect and everything is provided by dollar tree and Domino's

New here love the vid When I wanted a big party (not just for my bday), my parents had me play a big part in planning it. They helped teach me to not schedule a pool party on a rainy day, what food will be served and how to serve it, budgeting, expectations of the party. When it came to decor and party favors or place settings I gave them the idea and they helped with the adult stuff (buying it, handling sharp objects) but I did the rest. It makes me love throwing parties and hosting as an adult, and I bet that took some pressure off my parents as well. My mom scrapbooked and had coffee table books with crafty paper ideas and I ran with those ideas.

It's capitalism. Thinking you can buy a 'magical childhood' instead of accepting joy in the mundane.

I’ve been to birthday parties like these growing up. Usually the parents put so much effort that we couldn’t play and actually have fun or we’d ruin it. Then the parents would hold it over the kid’s heads when they want something. “I did all of this for you why can’t you give me the same effort?” Oh and if the child asked for a normal party the response would be “you don’t appreciate me so I’m not doing anything for you at all”.

This is yet another proof of how social media ruins people's lives.

Bread and circuses these days. This kind of pressure is why I'm so happy I'm in my 40s and just don't give a f*ck anymore.

Who else is childfree and watch this lol

3 letters... MLM, idk lol seems connected tho

Thinking about it, life did become more bland when the internet came in. Everything became I seen it before and you’ve seen hundreds of things within a few hours. Imagining catering to every magical/creative thinking for kids must set everything in a dim light early on. Before the internet, I was constantly thinking story lines, art to create, how to create buildings with minimal supplies. Challenges everywhere and only me to figure out. I was the creator lol. Not always great idea but all fun. I notice how more technical my baby thinks when my baby plays by herself. It’s amazing, we read and play together but it’s different. She’s always impressing me.

elf on the shelf isn’t harmful i think that it’s not that much of a big thing to move it around every night but good video so far

You just became a fav in my book at 14 mins. PREACH IT PLEASE, loud af for my MIL in the back o.O

This is what teachers feel all the time. I’m not a Pinterest teacher, my bulletin board is not gorgeous…. But my kids learn things, so that’s all that matters.

Absolutely, I grew up on a isolated farm, we were absolutely not deprived. I remember how much fun me and my sister had playing pretend, skating on the dugout, exploring a nearby coolie. My parents spent time with us but absolutely did not but us the latest 'in' thing. Did we want that stuff? Absolutely. Am I do grateful they didn't cave and buy them? So so much.

This is a keeping up with the Joneses. They warn you about it your whole life and you still fall for it.

I'm honestly seriously considering not doing the tooth fairy thing.

people love to compare their own lives to what they see on social media and try to replicate it, having zero idea of the other person's financial situation! they might be digging themselves into debt and you're following them down the hole! BELIEVE people when they say their social media page is performative and not reflective of their real life. maybe try to be a part of the change and not edit yourself too much! i honestly just stopped posting on instagram a few years ago bc it didn't feel good to perform and it didn't feel good seeing what my peers were accomplishing and comparing myself all the time. we need to know less about each other 🙏 the best birthday party i had as a kid was my 12th. we did a homemade dinner and cake with my family, godparents, and best friends. they put edible glitter on the cake, got water balloons, and we did a sleepover. it was so nice because the people i loved most were there! this sounds corny but laughter and love are the best party decorations haha. if kids don't learn that at a young age....... prepare your pockets 😳

When I was a kid, birthday parties meant a piñata, a bounce house, maybe a couple games, some finger foods, cake, and maybe a small goodie bag of candies. And the decorations weren't all Pinterest perfect but they made for some of the best memories!

When we moved into town from the village. We hung out with the neighbourhood kids most nights after school we'd play in the car park, the cul de sac as it used to be the end of the estate before the next 3 estates joined the roads up. We used to play with tennis balls, bouncy balls. Roller skates and skipping ropes. My favourite memory from our estate was. Friends spinning around with a skipping rope and we all jumped over it until we got out and caught by the rope. The other game was tag when we had 2 home bases far apart in the car park and we had to run and hide to get across back to base. In those days they didn't have a huge fence in the school and there was a path going through. We could go into the school and play in the playground and play tennis or football or play on the field. A couple of yrs before I left school they put up the fence and locked the gate and if we wanted to play in the field it was a long walk by ourselves to get to the other side of the school as you had to go to the bottom of town then go up a steep hill and through the estate the other side of the school. In the end we would have to go into town with a parent and go to the park instead. They were often too busy for that.

16:13 how could anyone think this would work for majority of children? If learning to read and write was ingrained in our genetics, we would be finding cave poems, instead of cave paintings

I have 3 kids and every time they come to me complaining of being bored I tell them I’m their mom not their camp councilor lol. I’ve found they can come up with some creative play and things to do when I let them work through their own boredom. My daughter is 13 and am amazing artist and my two younger sons come up with the funniest activities. Just yesterday my 6 year old put on roller skates and took my hand held leaf blower and was using it as a propulsion jet pack to skate across the floor. My older son got his tools out and asked my husband to teach him how to fix stuff. It was great!

This was my kids' first year in school (k, 2nd, 5th, 7th) because weve always homeschooled and I was blown away by the amount of sugar and plastic crap brought in by other parents for bdays and holidays. I didn't even buy cards for valentines day because I was told there was no exchange. But then they ended up doing one because everyone brought in candy, cupcakes, cookies and toys! For bdays people brought in Nothing Bundt Cakes for every child PLUS a goodie bag. My daughters were of course disappointed when I didn't agree to do the same. It wasn't just the parents tho. Teachers gave toys for turning in homework and asked parents to bring in sweet treats during state testing. Our church gives kids a goodie bag (with say a balloon and dum dum) after every service. It just sets them up to be disappointed as adults. I don't spoil my kids with things but I may have gone overboard on entertaining them in the name of education because being able to go to SeaWorld with your friends on Wednesdays is a benefit of homeschooling but now they expect way more excitement than I ever did.

Bruh, for my 3rd birthday I got a pig cake, ice cream, and probably 5 friends from kindergarten. And it was great! And don’t get me started on “sensory bins”. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I often feel think about this as a preschool teacher we are asked to create invitations to play. This means setting up Instagram worthy activities around an idea or theme. To invite interest. I always feel like I’m being asked to pre-play for the children. Plus once the first child or children have seen it and played with it it’s all dishevelled anyway so no longer looking how it was set up. So who is the aesthetic set up for…? If the items are available to play and make their own set ups then their own brain and imagination is at work. It’s unlimited. If we set it all up for them we are taking away the very thing children are wonderful at and that is playing! Occasionally it’s fun for a special day or something but everyday setting up inviting toys seems like an unintentional or not way of controlling a child’s thoughts and inner world and that’s limiting natural opportunities for growth. We can’t do everything for a child including pre-play with their toys to make them nice and always extra special! 🤣

Dude Valentine's on school was hard enough when it was just cards. Back than you didn't have to give everyone a card so I got very few cuz I was one of 3 families on food stamps. Think what your doing to these kids I hate Valentine's Day

My parents couldn’t afford to give my brother and I birthday parties every year so one of us would get a party at like chuck-e-cheese and the other just a simple home birthday. Even then I don’t think that was all too expensive. Simple birthdays. Not extravagant. All I remember was having the best time.

Idk, I prefer this to moms becoming Karens for not having anything to put their energy into that feels fulfilling.

I'm not finishing this video, I'm sure you have great points, but "I'm mad parents are giving their kids fun lives" is wild

The main point I took from this is that social media is not that great for us lol Kinda makes me glad I didn’t really attach myself to it too hard when I was younger, now I just use it to message people

Hey you really know your stuff Ashley 😮. I’ve been hearing many of the lingo you explained on here but nobody has done a better job explaining them in my opinion.

Only 7 minutes in but Is this really a problem? I don't mean to sound out of touch, but like, is there *really* and expectation that you have to have matchin pajamas on christmas or your not measuring up to parenthood? Or you gotta make your kids grapes into a caterpillar? Like damn. I don't get this at all. The birthday thing is intense, but like, your the one who planned it, did the labor, hosted it, paid for it. If you don't enjoy it, just don't right? You can just not do any of this. Why are you doing any of this?

A themed birthday party, I’m thinking themed plates and a themed cake from Walmart and maybe some decor. NOT thousands of dollars to turn your house or yard into a mini theme park dedicated to that idea. WOW.

My husband and I were talking about this topic exactly. Our nieces and nephews have their parents running after them to keep them entertained. As a result, those kids have a low tolerance to boredom and if they are eating at a family gathering and get bored, they start screaming, demanding mum and dad to keep them entertained, instead of sneaking next door and play by themselves. These are kids who have similarly aged siblings and LOTs of cousins. They could play all day by themselves if the adults just let them.

I like how women opted out of the nuclear family but then if you go on a dating app today, a woman still expects you to make way over six figures and a for their lifestyle and their kids😂. No 50-50.

Is this a rich people problem thing? Lolz. My kid has normal birthdays. As do the other poor people that I know.

3:24 I remember it being cards and some shitty candy in the 90s too. The thing is that the cards are usually sold _with_ the candy in the bag. Sometimes it's already attached to the card. So I don't really understand this argument at all lol If your high end grocery store only sells "artisan school valentine kits" that cost $2/card, then take your ass to a normal store lmao

I feel like Elf On The Shelf started a lot of it. Then Prom-posals, Fancy Tent Sleepovers, Graduation parties that look like wedding receptions....it's too too much!

This sounds like rich people shit lol

I don't agree to work men to the bone just to have children

magic is kinda simple, if the kids really enjoy something and you really enjoy something then it becomes something you enjoy together, and that's gonna look different for every family because it's not about how it looks, it's about knowing your kids and what'll bring them joy

No offense to Americans, but that trend seems to be exclusively in the US. Where I live, children go to someone's house to play videogames and eat pizza, or bowling, or is just a family gathering with a cake. Are these kids miserable? No, they are happy, healthy and a lot of the time they chose the event themselves. Edit: also, the snuggling hormone isn't dopamine, but rather oxytocin.

The idea that the tooth fairy is out here giving sour candy and suckers to kids is so dark, lol. Like, she wants more teeth falling out.

All those flawless yet empty party pictures give me the same feeling that liminal space does.

My parents just make a cake and take me to like the mall or something with 2 friends for my birthday 😭