Відео

My dad and I used to spend the week before my birthday party making a themed piñata together out of paper mache. It was definitely the best part of having a birthday party and i made a lot of memories from that. It was one of those things we did every year, that i got to decide on, help make, and have a super fun time with. The piñatas only lasted a little while, but the memories i made with my dad is what really stuck.

You're spot on about the change from phonics to contacts cues. It was shocking to me when my son was in kindergarten in 2019-2020 and they were teaching this way. I had grown up with phonics and the methods they were using seemed CRAZY to me. The science of reading does not bear out this new method. My son has a disability somewhat like dyslexia and so I started him on a phonics-based system right around the time COVID hit. For the next few years I homeschooled him and we did this method, called the Orton Gillingham method, and he reads far above grade level now. I think with his particular disability that would not have been the case without a reading format that was heavily reliant on phonics. Kids learn in different ways, and phonics has been shown to be the best way for the majority of students.

NOBODY asks a nanny “what do you do all day??”.

Our Valentine’s Day tradition has always been to go to the museum instead! I think Valentine’s Day is strange to impose on elementary kids. All the little plastic toys and lollipops, no thanks. I think as a parent we need to just tune in to our personal beliefs and values. Social media is not real life. I know some moms who were trying to make it as tik tok and instagram mamas and honestly seeing them set up their tripods and boss their kids around in person to get the perfect shot shattered the image for me. Plus the kids are always struggling to play in outfits they can’t move in. The best thing about life is the imperfection. Life is about making a bunch of mistakes and learning from them.

It’s not capitalism it’s feminism women blame men for everything men are toxic men are creepy etc etc. men are drawn inwards staying home playing on line games turning to porn instead of real women who hate them

I myself wasn't born until 1997, so my story may be somewhat of an oddity in this conversation. For the first five years of my life, we would usually celebrate at home, though each year would generally have some kind of theme to it. But in the realm of attending another person's birthday as a kid, the earliest known occasion of attending one that wasn't inside someone's own residence was some time in the first quarter of 2002, though there is very little evidence of it in general. Starting with my 6th birthday in 2003, we began hosting parties at a park setting, to accommodate a greater number of people. As my birthday was in July, I didn't fully celebrate it in a school setting, even though we would do an activity near the end of the school year where everyone who had a Summer birthday would get to celebrate for one day in the classroom. While the themed parties continued until I was 13, between that time, I often found myself remembering parties or gatherings that were in alternate locations more vividly than when they were in residence. But to this day, I'm still not entirely sure why there was that level of disconnect.

My daughter’s first birthday was a mess cause I was trying to be really extra and I didn’t even have the time or knowledge of how to do it properly. Now I’m just going to focus on small key memory things. Even though she’s not going to remember. I am going to remember. I love putting things together but in a small scale.

That dumb male podcaster going like "imagine working your 9-5 and then going to meet the needs of your children, and then going to meet the needs of your husband, it's impossible, you're either going to resent your 9-5 or your children and husband" lmao my dude, IMAGINE working 9-5 and NOT HAVING to meet the needs of your husband because he's an ADULT who can take care of himself AND take care of the children, sharing the load between two people, like so many normal families do? Of course a working woman is gonna resent you if you're a manchild who can just barely do his job and can't do anything at home, has to be fed and cleaned after like a baby

I'm Brazilian, hese big crazy birthday parties have been common in brazilian middle class families for quite some decades, specially after the rise of "Children's buffet", aka spaces made to celebrate child's parties, I had some huge parties as a kid myself, so...nothing uncommon here. Still, I've seen this rise of this "show-off" between parents on social media, always trying to make everything pareting related look perfect to the public, and overwhelming their kids with activities to show it to everyone, even if it's just family and friends, when this behavior affects their kids and themselves as parents My mother herself, has felt like lesse of a good mother to my younger sister bc of what she saw mothers of a similar background to us doing "for" their kids. Social media parenting is such a double sided knife, damn...

When I was a kid I was just an addition to my parents social life. I would go where they go, now kids have more of a social life than parent and parents are just taxi drivers and are friends with parents of kids friends.

Another large part of this, I think, is certain parents not being aware of their young kids’ social media presence. I was born in 2000 and I didn’t have social media until I was a legal adult, mainly due to my parents seeing a lot of research on (at the time) Facebook and its effects on the developing brain. I was the only high schooler without Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat; I had peers in middle school who lied about their age to get on Facebook, on Tumblr, on Twitter, and Snapchat. Almost all of them seemed pretty unhappy whenever they referred to stuff going on there☹️ now, I’m a middle school teacher and I hear a lot about cyberbullying via TikTok and the chat spaces associated with certain video games... perhaps due to the disconnect between current platforms and millennial parents who weren’t using them, these are kids who also haven’t been taught how to keep themselves safe and happy online.

I think we have to do all this since we don’t let kids go outside or freely go to neighbors’ houses anymore

This gentle parenting is really not helping. You can have boundaries without being a jerk to your kid. This is lunacy!

14:36 I have to disagree. while you don't have to constantly play with your kids on the floor, both parents should take turns it builds better relationships with your child. I don't have a single memory of playing with my mom and our relationship is shit so take that as you will 😅

I don’t remember any of my birthday parties lol. Kids will be happy with anything if you don’t condition them to only like designer things.

Hmmm...as a former kid, I can assure you kids don't need any of these things. Core memories don't look like this.

I just see women talking about what we value which is community. We get to create what we want.

I think this is a very American phenomenon. I don't feel the pressure to make over the top birthday parties or events and I've never attended any either. Normally in Sweden you only invite extended family for birthdays. Older kids may have birthday parties with their friends but it usually very casual like a bbq in the backyard with some games and cake.

The film around my dishwasher pods is PLASTIC!?!?! Omg, I had no idea. Not using those anymore. Thank you!! 👏👏

There are influencers who I generally like where I don't mind at all if they're showing really lavish, beautiful things and beautiful vacations. It doesn't bother me at all to see highly decorated homes or beautiful food they've prepared or even hauls from stores. But I think that's because I like the personality of those people and I'm genuinely pleased for them to be able to have those things. What I don't like seeing are the influencers talking about all their luxury items they got for Christmas or very obviously trying to sound humble about a vacation when they are obviously feeling very pleased with themselves about it. Showing what they have or what their lifestyle is like only irritates me when they seem like snotty, mean people. There are definitely some truly kind influencers out there that have gigantic followings and it feels like their success is very deserved so I don't mind seeing signs of their affluence, just like I wouldn't be bothered if I had a good friend that was going on trips all the time. What's tricky is that in this time of comparison that I think social media has really amplified, there are some people that truly don't know what to post because there will always be someone that gets upset and says they are flaunting their lifestyle when maybe they're just simply doing their thing and not showing off. Maybe someone made a truly beautiful birthday cake. Some people would say how frivolous it was that they had spent all that time on a cake for something as trivial as a birthday, while others would applaud their skill. I kind of feel like people can't win right now, regardless of what they share, because SOMEONE will find the content unrelatable. The attitude of the person presenting the content REALLY matters in my opinion, more than the content itself.

Social media that’s why this is happening, it’s because these parents want to take photos and show off online. If these parties weren’t documented then they wouldn’t be doing as much as they do.

It’s funny I was just thinking about this…In an effort to make life easier for whom ever was watching my kids while we were at work we gave them devices surprise surprise they became screen dependent..(I know not good but we all know how that happens) however I am now staying at home and have gone screen free and in the process of doing so my kids are way more active, obviously. I spected that but what I didn’t expect was the constant sitting around waiting for me to tell them what to do..and I was wondering when did I become the sole entertainer for everyone and while I enjoy some plan activities and some crafts It can be daunting feeling like I have to have a complete scheduled day of fun and if my kids get bored I feel guilty because I have taken away their source of entertainment and I’m not providing them with enough activities, in the same vain I can’t remember my mom ever telling me how or when to play? So I’m here thinking am I doing enough? ..

We share quite a few things with my parents. Like we don’t use the carpet cleaner often, so we can share it!

The kids don't care at all The parents are just doing it for themselves not for the kids. The kids are being used for a social posts

With this economy, how are you overspending on decorations for one day birthday party? It's basically a wedding party minus the reception.

LIBRARIES!! GO TO YOUR LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARIES!!! (Very important info at end of my comment) There is so much more to a library than just books! They have events for all ages, classes, book clubs, craft nights, movie showings, and some even offer free day passes for your local museums and other such events! They also have resources for helping with job hunting, resume writing, etc. Some will rent out equipment to you like a carpet cleaner or vacuum, and many have supplies and machines for crafting just ready for public use! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: Even if you don't go often, PLEASE get a library card! Libraries get government funding based off of active memberships! This funding allows these programs to keep going!!!!!

Honestly, having grown up in a large intergenerational extended family, where all of our individual parents were working poor, a lot of these reflections, especially on how to make it work, were very familiar to me. Hearing some folks who traditionally didn't grow up that way in 'the middle class' start to make that communal shift (out of necessity) is both encouraging but also a sobering indicator of how much that income disparity has shifted over the past. 10-15 years. If you want to address that issue, you gotta change the environment to make it a more supportive environment to raise kids, and that helps your community in the long run! But a lot of folks aren't ready for that conversation

My dad grew up with the hands off mentality. He ran wild in the neighborhood and honestly got into a lot of damgerous situations. It made him resilient but he could have died, a lot. He was tossed out of the house if he tried to come back in. Maybe it was for the better though, the adults around him had all sorts of issues, better to play with other kids and stay put of their way. It does feel like a lack of care though. Best to find a middle ground.

Trust me, kids will not remember anyway. I was told about all these trips and holidays my family had. And i...simply didn’t remember. Couldn't recall anything they were talking about. If you want the best for your kids just show that you love them and make sure they have a healthy development.

I'm a birthday party princess!! and yeah, some of the parties I work at are... insane. A three year old might remember meeting Elsa, but probably not the balloon arch, picture backdrop, matching Frozen plates, balloons and centrepieces. Most parents don't even care if their child likes it, it's either to show off to the other parents or their Instagram followers, or it's because that what they wanted as a child (or its a combination of these).

ive helped my mom babysit for kids who's mom felt she needed to constantly entertain them. its incredibly draining! nothing against the kids, they're incredibly sweet, but the constant expectation to be entertained by an adult burns you out so incredibly fast. the mom has been better about letting the kids play with themselves but she still struggles with the burnout from doing that for several years. of course your kids deserve attention, but parents also need to care for themselves.

I always wonder how many people actually do these over the top kid experiences and parties. Influencers have a real business interest in providing that kind of content but is this what the majority of people are doing? I don't think so. Or maybe just not in my city. I think you see so many influencers doing this kind of stuff that it's easy to assume that it's the norm there's something wrong with you if you are not keeping up with them. But the norm is probably just going to an arcade or having a picnic at the park LOL.

3:40 when I was a kid and with my younger siblings (youngest is 10) we just… did cards made for classes and sometimes a chocolate or whatever

0:19 rich people I stg

Also, I don't understand why american parents do so many things that their children are usually supposed to do themselves. Like on valentines day, apparently you guys have to write cards for your kids? For their valentine? It's also a bit strange. I don't know about everywhere else, but in France, on valentines day, when a kid likes someone, the child can get that person a flower or write them a note. But really it's not even a day for kids there. It's just a day for adults and maybe teens to go on a date. Also, isn't this practice to give away valentines day cards so young at school hurting a lot of kids and pushing them into amatonormative roles early on? On mothers day or fathers day, I heard American parents plan something for the other parents "from the kids" sounds like a lot of work. In France (and I think many other countries), kids either do something at school when they're small or come up with something on their own. Also, maybe it's not a real thing, but on American TV shows and movies, I've seen parents do the homework or "science fair" project of their own child. Don't they get disqualified if their parents do their projects for them? Yes so these practices seem a bit intense but maybe they're not that widespread, maybe they're still lots of parents who just let their kids make pasta necklaces for every occasion 😊 I personally think it's a great opportunity for the kid to develop their creativity. Growing up, I always loved coming up with DIYs for somebody's special day.

I got the valentines come with toys and candy memo too late as well. I felt very embarrassed

15:14 the gaming industry is booming. People are flying more than ever before. Hollywood release more movies per runtime than before. (3 hour movies >.>) I don’t think work is keep those hours away from people.

11:25 I know that you're looking for a simple analogy but if you had a family of 25 people and you actually needed to build things on a regular basis at a homestead or a farm one hammer isn't going to cut it sorry...

I also think it depends where you live. I live in a smaller town & most parents here are still old school!

In regards to the extra birthdays, I think it’s okay if you enjoy doing it and that’s the one big thing your kid gets. To me we are celebrating life. If you’re doing it for the wrong reasons and stressing yourself out & spending money you don’t have then it’s a problem. Personally I’m an interior designer & I love planning a good party.

All i get from this is: "Fo NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly" - lyric from "Everyone os Free to Wear Sunscreen" Pinterest and social media will ONLY ever make you feel inadequate. THE MOMENT people started making social media "influencer" a career was the moment I, personally, knew that it was insidious advertising. Ot turned US not juat onto consumers, but advertisers. Thus making what you see on social media (85% of the time, and even that is being generous) FAKE, CURATED AND NOT REAL. The moment people realized they could make money off what they posted on social media was the mmoment that it became competition for advertising, the next "sode hustle".... Greed and envy are a hell of a drug. And humans, by nature, are competitive. Particularly women. You just have to look back through history. Fuck me, watch Bridgerton and see how they treated marriage as a "business deals", political and business alliances. C'mon now. We're not that stupid to try and claim, "That was then, it's not like that now...." Yeah, next you're going to tell me you have NEVER peed in the shower on a cold day. Lies. Even BEFORE social media we STILL ask questions like: What do you do for work? What does your husband do for work? Where do you live? And based on those basic questions, assumptions are made and boundaries are either put up real quick or come crashing down.

every time parents talk about how much money they spend for new toys and stuff like that, I'm reminded of that period in my brother's life when his favorite toy was a random hot water bag he found around the house. He had plenty of toys (even really expensive ones), but he loved to play with that hot water bag more than anything else. Trust me, children will find a way to have fun even without all this extravaganza

Go to church lol

not at all related to the video but your dining area is so pretty

imo the sensory stuff is really good for school and nursery, maybe for having a few things every once in a while, but i couldnt be doing that all the time. its really weird seeing ppl do sensory trays at home… they dont last and its not worth doing.

Didn't you know that you can just mooch off society if you do decide to have children?

I wish people would realise that gentle parenting is only “gentle” parenting if you come from abusive households. Otherwise, you are being everything a parent should be; attentive, supportive, logical, and understanding. Parenting is guidance and support not abuse and neglect. This is not permissive parenting. It’s literally just parenting.

*I worked two FT jobs all my life to afford rent and vehicle and still was in financial difficulties. What multiple people to live in a small space. People can't keep doing this inflation struggle.*